After watching the Tiny Toons “Who” sketch, posted below, a few times, I thought I’d see if the original was on the internet as well.  It is!  Several different performances of it, in fact.  Here’s the one that Abbot and Costello liked the best.  Enjoy!

Normal highs for this time of year: 45.

It occurred to me, as I was getting settled in for bed, that I’d be well-advised to run outside and plug my car in.  It’s cold.  MMmmyy ffiifiiinnngggererttth arrrr frrrroooozzn…..caaaannnnt ttyyyypp.

You know, I moved to the St. Joseph area from northern Iowa.  The winters are COLD there.  I lived in South Dakota for 6 years.  It’s way colder.  I came down to this area, looking forward to milder winters.   Hmmmph.

God & Government by Charles Colson.  This is a revised and updated edition of his bestselling book, Kingdoms in Conflict.  It’s been updated to include his thoughts on recent events such as 9-11, radical Islamist jihad, embryonic stem cell research, etc.  After years of watching the growing rift between secular society and the religious culture, many of his acquaintances were urging him to write a book.  After all, he’d been a non-believing White House staffer before becoming a prominent voice for evangelicals.  He’d seen both sides of the issue.  He wasn’t sure he could ever find a framework for addressing the gigantic political and religious mess that America has become.  His studies of Augustine’s The City of God and Richard John Neuhaus’ The Naked Public Square provided such a framework, however.  His book began on a plane above India, when he wrote “The kingdoms are in conflict, both vying for ultimate allegiance.  Not just in America, but around the world.  By his nature man is irresistibly religious–and he is political.  Unless the two can coexist, mankind will continue in turmoil.  Tragically, we have lost sight of both the nature of man and the nature of God and His rule over the world.”  This forms the thesis for his book, that the sphere of the church, as witness of God’s Kingdom, and the sphere of governance/politics should cooperate and coexist.  They should NEVER, however, usurp one another’s roles.  Any time the two realms get off balance, “the public good suffers.”  If you’re a member of the secular left, looking for substance to your view that religion must be forever banished from the public square, you won’t find help here. But neither will you find help if you’re a far-right Christian looking for a call for the Church to conquer the public square or Capitol Hill.  Colson navigates a careful course between the two extremes, encouraging our public discourse to return to civility and mutual openness.  He puts forward some very interesting thoughts.  I’m less than halfway finished, but thus far I can endorse the book readily.

In Six Days: Why Fifty Scientists Choose to Believe in Creation, ed. by John F. Ashton, PhD.  (Linked to christianbook.com because it’s $3 cheaper there than Amazon. 8)  The debate over the age of the earth is HUGE these days, even within the church.  Though I don’t believe where you come down on this issue is going to make-or-break you for eternity (and it’s distastrous when churches get embroiled in this particular fight), an open-minded person should know the reasoning on all sides of the issue.  I’ve got material in my library that takes about every possible position on it.  I picked up this book because I wanted to see what actual scientists are saying, from their own disciplines, that can lend itself to at least a questioning of Darwinian evolution, if not a complete scientific proof that the world is young (neither Darwinians nor Creationists can “prove” their position, based on the scientific method–there’s no way to do experiments that are repeatable, and no one I know currently living on the planet was around when the earth came into being.  Both sides can only show how available data can lend some creedence to their view).  So I’m steeling my brains to see if I can follow the thinking of scientists.  I am definitely NOT a scientist; why do you think I’m a preacher?   I’ve slogged through the first essay and yeah, it gets a little technical.  I’ll probably be in and out of this one for quite awhile, because I’ll need plenty of time to try and wrap my brain around what’s going on.  So don’t expect a final review for some time.  Wish me luck; I was always more of a literature and language kind of guy in school.  My grades in math and science were…unremarkable.

WordPress for Dummies, Lisa Sabin-Wilson.  (Picked this one up so that I don’t drive Micah insane with questions!   No seriously, the WordPress deal is brand-new to me, having come from the Blogger world where the interface is a great deal different.  I will mercilessly tweak this blog until it looks the way I want it–only thing is, I don’t know how (yet)!  This little gem ought to take me pretty far–and I’ll be looking less amateurish soon!  Man, I wish I were in college at the time that the internet was actually up and running.  When I graduated from Iowa State, you were cool if you had one of those ancient 2400 baud modems and could connect with bulletin boards (you should have seen my collection of mahjongg tilesets!)  HTML, XML, CSS…I might have run into all those letters while eating alphabet soup as a kid while watching the Sonny & Cher show on TV, but that’s about my limit of familiarity with ‘em.  I hope to remedy some of that in the future (but don’t expect any quick miracles).

Well now, isn’t this interesting!  I read a Washington Post online article today by Piet Levy of the Religion News Service.  Evangelical groups have been fighting for a long time to secure greater decency on their family television sets by calling for a la carte cable subscriptions.  Under the plan, families would be able to subscribe to only those channels they want, thereby banishing channels like MTV, VH-1, Comedy Central, etc., from the evangelical living room.

I must tell you, I would really enjoy having this option.  We have no cable at all at our house, and the reason isn’t just the amount of indecency infesting television these days (though it’s part of the reason, to be sure).  A big part of our decision is that all this money we pay brings us a ton of programming in which we have absolutely NO interest.  The immoral stuff fits in there, but so does programming like you’d find on QVC (gag), Lifetime (largest collection of vacuous made-for-TV movies in human history), Cartoon Network (today’s cartoons are really dumb compared to the Looney Toons and Tom & Jerry I used to love), Bravo (I’m a straight guy; I’ll use my own eye, thanks)…you get the picture.  My wife and I felt that we were flushing our money down the loo for so much programming that holds zippo interest for us.  Give me the option to subscribe to individual channels, and I would INSTANTLY subscribe to the Discovery Channel, The History Channel, The Weather Channel, the Home & Garden Channel, the Food Network, and maybe one or two others I can’t think of at the moment.  When I had cable, that’s all I’d ever watch, and I’d pay a fair price for JUST those channels. (Notice I didn’t mention TBN?–or CBN?  That’s right; I didn’t!)  Of course my dad and I have discussed this pipe dream before, and he suggests that the cable companies would see to it that I’d be paying as much, or more, for the fewer channels.  He might be right–but it was rude to take me out of my happy place!!

Now here’s the twist, and it’s a big one.  This plan, endorsed by evangelical groups such as Concerned Women for America, favored by the FCC, and planned for promotion by John McCain himself, is finding opposition from–a Christian broadcasting group!  (Do you have whiplash now?)  The Faith and Family Broadcasting Coalition, which represents (no surprise) TBN and CBN is dead-set against this plan.  Whence the hubbub?  Colby May, attorney for the coalition, says Christian cable broadcasters are worried that no non-Christians will subscribe to their channels.  May said that “If you obligate viewers to pre-select religious service, you are essentially going to find yourself witnessing to the choir.”   If these channels suddenly find only Christians subscribing, this might call into question their whole reason for being.  (Other than making money hand-over-fist; a few of them seem to be quite good at that…maybe that’s their real reason?  [Bite your tongue!  Bad Scott! *slaps himself on back of hand*])  Um, forgive the internal dialogue there.  Told you I was a tad odd.

But let’s spend a moment assuming the best of motives–that of sharing the Gospel to those who would otherwise never darken the door of a church.  That’s certainly a laudable goal, and in keeping with the Great Commission.  May pointed out the many reported cases whereby a non-believer in a bad spot has accidentally happened upon one of these religious channels–and heard a message which initiated a turnaround in his or her life.  “In combination, all of these networks have literally thousands and thousands of anecdotal stories of people who were channel-surfing that came across one of their services and it changed their life for the better.”  Certainly a point worth considering.  As a minister, I am certainly interested in people having every possible chance to hear the Good News of forgiveness and transformation through the grace of Christ.

So, here we have a double-edged sword!  Evangelicals vs. Christian broadcasting networks, both with good points to make their case!  Who should prevail?  I definitely want to hear people’s opinions on this one.  Personally, I’m leaning heavily toward the a la carte option…and here’s some factors that have me thinking that way.  Keep in mind my bias, of course…like I mentioned above it would thrill me to death to be able to choose channels I like.  But I have some other, more substantive reasons.

• Freedom goes both ways in this world the good Lord gave us.  If evangelicals feel they should have the freedom to shelter their families from objectionable programming, shouldn’t non-believers have the freedom to refuse Christian programming?  We’re currently spending our own money and getting objectionable programs for our trouble.  Non-Christians are spending their money, too.  Atheists undoubtedly find Christian programming objectionable, as I’m sure do Muslims, Buddhists, and pagans.  The Lord does not force Himself on anyone.  I’ll be the first to agree with you that such people need Jesus, but should we fight to protect a system whereby our message is shoved down their throats (not to mention the fact that I do NOT like the way some religious broadcasters present the message–I’d rather not have them speaking for me). 
• While I’m on the topic…don’t some Christian programs make you positively cringe, thinking, “Ack!  What conclusions are non-believers drawing about us and our faith, as they watch this fiasco?  This show is setting back the cause of Christianity by fifty years!”  (Please note I have NOT named names here–I don’t want to step on anyone.  By the same token, please don’t assume I’m trashing on your favorite programs or preachers.)
• Wouldn’t it encourage greater quality in the Christian programming out there, given that people would have to WANT the programming in order to subscribe to it?  There wouldn’t be nearly as much of a “slop factor”; the Christian networks would have to be producing first-rate stuff to attract subscribers.  The programming would possibly be even more effective at evangelism; the networks would have to make sure they were communicating the Gospel in words and terms people could understand and apply to their lives.
• It’s understandable, I guess, to loathe the idea that we can no longer live our self-absorbed lives, our consciences soothed in the knowledge that someone else is sharing the Gospel with a broken world by the medium of cable TV.  If some guy in an Armani suit is preaching on the airwaves, after all, there’s no need for me to upset my comfortable routine in order to go out and impact the lives of friends, co-workers, and neighbors with the love of Christ.  (Ok sorry; I’m being a bit cynical, but…) If Jesus’ method of bringing transformation to the lost was personal relationships, shouldn’t His followers be doing the same?  Shouldn’t we be off our….couches….and be about the job Jesus gave us to do, instead of letting a television do the work?  Yes it would be tragic if a really hurting person didn’t hear the Good News just when he needed it…but that would be our fault instead of the broadcasters’.

 There you have it, a few points off the top of my head.  Doubtless there are others that haven’t occurred to me.  Would you give me your input, either for or against?  Don’t just tell us “yes” or “no”–tell us your reasoning as well.  In the meantime, it should be very interesting to see how this little drama unfolds!

The CBS article suggests that Democratic Evangelicals want to move beyond issues of abortion and same-sex marriage, and to vote for a candidate that will address poverty, the environment and the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the country and around the globe.

Now I have no problem addressing some of those problems (I’ll tell you right now that I don’t buy into global warming–a large group of scientists is just as worried about global cooling, and neither side can prove they’re right beyond the shadow of a doubt.  Treating global warming like a scientific fact is just dishonest).  Poverty needs to be addressed.  Those battling diseases of MANY kinds should find a nation ready to help.  So dealing with more than abortion and same-sex marriage is certainly a laudable thing to do.  But what line of reasoning causes an evangelical to set aside issues like those two big ones and vote for a pro-choice, pro-same-sex marriage candidate who also happens to have a strong stance on dealing with poverty?

This is where I’d like to open the floor for discussion.  Any evangelical Democrats out there who happen to read this (this blog is really new, so it might be too soon to ask questions and expect much response)–welcome!  I’ll tell you the truth: I can never, in good conscience, vote for a candidate who is pro-choice or pro-same-sex marriage.  I would be curious as to the thinking of those who can, however.  So please enlighten us with your reasoning, and be assured of a respectful hearing on my part.  After all, anyone with a true saving relationship with Jesus is a brother or sister of mine, even if I happen to have some strong disagreements with you.  Share with us how you process these issues!  Obviously anyone on the other side of the issue is welcome to comment as well.  But be warned!  No inflammatory comments or downright cussedness will be permitted–be nice! (I’ve got a really twitchy finger that dances really close to the delete key! 8)  Here’s a chance to come to an understanding of why Jesus isn’t a Republican–but if you figure He’s a Democrat, you’re barking up the wrong tree as well.  Come, let us reason together.

Once again I discover that I’ve overestimated human nature.

HuffingtonPost.com is always a mezmering melange of madness, and in my perusal I found an article by Kerry Trueman called “Who Needs Meat When You’ve Got Bugs?”  Of course the main topic is the nutritional advantages of consuming insects.  Supposedly by volume they’re just as packed with protein and amino acids as meat, and even out-nourish your favorite carnivorous delight in terms of vitamins and minerals.

Referencing an e-zine called “The Feral Forager” (excuse me while I take a dose of Mylanta; feeling a bit queasy) Trueman quotes that pill bugs are nicely renamed as “land shrimp”; grasshoppers are praised as being “surprisingly tasty and filling” and taste “something like popcorn”.  Crickets are supposedly “incredibly high in calcium and potassium.” If you’re old enough to remember watching “Crocodile Dundee,” maybe you remember him roasting grubs over a fire.  Apparently he knew what he was doing, because Feral Forager cites roasted grub as  “a fat-filled protein snack that…tastes a lot like popcorn.”  Earthworms can supposedly be made into “a very nutritious flour.”  ANT EGGS (suppressing a shudder here) are supposed to be edible, with raw ones tasting like couscous.

Well, well!  I never knew all that good stuff!  If they’re that good, and good for us, let’s dig in!  We can use their little legs as toothpicks afterward!  Ok line up folks!  Who wants to get in on this tasty bug smorgasbord? Don’t be shy; step right on up!

……..*crickets chirping*  Hmm.  They sure sound happy.  Must be because NO ONE IS EATING THEM!

Looking for a snack for movie night?  If you don’t feel like raiding anthills or flipping over rocks (don’t even try to catch that cricket under your sink; those guys are next to impossible to corner) just take a little stroll along the shoulder of your nearest highway!  That’s right, a wealth of delicious MEAT awaits in the form of roadkill!  How about that possum there?  Uh no…that one’s a bit bloated.  Hey look at that raccoon! It’s even got rice on it already!  Wait a second…the rice seems to be moving. 

Oh.  That’s not rice.

As unsanitary as it sounds, the Feral Forager crowd actually does advocate the harvesting and consumption of roadkill.  Those deer and stray dogs you see smeared on the road are ennobled, dubbed the “dishonored victims of the petroleum age.” According to them, the best way we can do honor to their memory is to toss them in the pickup, take them home and turn them into “food which nourishes.”  And think of it!  No antibiotics or growth hormones!  That’s right, friends, the Feral Forager bunch says that “picking up roadkill is a good way to get fresh, wild, totally free-range and organic meat for absolutely free.”

All this would be just pathetic enough, if Trueman didn’t intimate the reason behind all this eating-of-creepy-crawlies: what else other than the environment?  She quotes insectivore David Gracer in saying “Insects can feed the world. Cows and pigs are the S.U.V.’s; bugs are the bicycles.” The implication is that eating meat makes you an environmental homicidal maniac.  I’m confused: weren’t cows and their flatulence supposed to be adding huge amounts of greenhouse gas to the atmosphere?  So, wouldn’t it be a good thing to take that four-legged polluter and serve him up with sauteed mushrooms?  That way he’ll not pollute again!  Trueman goes on to cite increased competition for the world’s food resources as population expands.  She suggests that global warming may soon cause a dining crisis that will force us to choose pillbug over porterhouse.  Fight global warming by crunching cockroaches and broiling beagles?  Mad I may be–but this is just nuts.  When will people stop paying heed to enviro-loons of this sort?

I’m headed out for a Baconator.  If I get arrested, would somebody call my lawyer?

I might be just a touch unhinged, but I figure I’m in good company.  Seems to me that His contemporaries often thought that Jesus Christ had flipped His lid.  Heavens; even His family tried to stage an “intervention” with Him at one point, thinking He’d lost His mind (Mark 3:21). Think of that!  Preaching the Kingdom of God was at hand, proclaiming repentance, forgiveness of sin and a transformed life–living a life of love, complete integrity and self-sacrifice–these things were quite enough to get Jesus labeled as being dotty!  Well, Jesus promised that as the world treated Him, so would it treat those who followed in His footsteps as disciples.  You’ll thus see the “crazy” label getting applied to His apostles pretty regularly.  Even Paul–the greatest apologist for the Christian faith in the New Testament, with a mind educated to a keen edge–was dismissed at times as being a nut or a “fool.”  Did this bother him?  No way!  He was proud to call himself and the other apostles “fools for Christ.” (1 Cor. 4:10)  He said this in open derision of the so-called sophistication of the Greek thinkers around Corinth, who thought themselves oh-so-wise.  He held their “wisdom” in contempt, knowing that “the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.” (1 Cor. 1:25)  The highest learning, the most moving eloquence of man amounts to pathetic nothingness next to the God who created the universe and the laws by which it operates.  All knowledge and wisdom have their root in God, and any human knowledge that sets itself in rebellion to God is anti-knowledge.  That’s why God’s wisdom looks completely foolish to godless culture; thinking themselves wise, they actually have embraced nonwisdom! 

“…God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things–and the things that are not–to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.” (1 Cor 1:27-29 NIV)

It’s an amazing thing, then, that God has chosen to impart the Gospel the way He has. He’s chosen what to the world’s ear sounds like foolishness to save those who believe. (1 Cor. 1:21) What’s the motive? Well, Paul says that sinful men cannot comprehend the deep things of the Spirit on their own, because the truth can only be spiritually discerned. Here you’ve got natural men trying to figure out spiritual truths–it’s like two people speaking to one another in two different languages. If you’ve ever been in a large city, an international airport, or a big state college campus, you know what it’s like to hear people speaking languages that are foreign to you. It’s bewildering! Now, picture a man who speaks only “natural” being given the Gospel message which is spoken only in “spiritual.” Same effect!

Ok so here we get worried about getting painted into a corner. If natural people can only understand “natural,” and the Gospel can only be given in “spiritual,” how can any of us know about forgiveness and eternal life in such a way that it even registers with us? How did I become a believer–how did you, if you are one? Also, if you’ve got a God-given compassion for the lost that motivates you to pass the word about Jesus’ finished work for them–why even bother, if they’re not going to understand it?

The answer is that we need a translator. My wife speaks Spanish like you wouldn’t believe. She works in a local pork plant, and she’s always getting called on to translate work instructions, or nurses’ questions, to Spanish-speakers. When she kicks into gear, wow. Just…..wow. The words just come flying out of her, a thousand miles an hour. I’m hopelessly lost when she gets in her groove. I just listen for my name, smile and nod. Because of her translation, her co-workers, who do not speak our language or understand our culture, can learn what they need to succeed on a worksite here in the USA. They’d be hopeless without the translation! That’s the same way it is with sharing our faith, and our hearers understanding what we’re saying. A translator is essential. Good news is, the Translator is available 24-7. His name: the Holy Spirit. In John 16:8-10, Jesus describes the translating work that the Holy Spirit does on the heart of a sinner who responds to the message of salvation…

“When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment: in regard to sin, because men do not believe in me; in regard to righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; and in regard to judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned.” (NIV)

So here’s the heart of the matter. When you share your faith with one who needs forgiveness and eternal life by the grace of Jesus–when he needs a total transformation of his life by turning the mastery of his life over to Christ–what possible chance is there that the guy is going to understand ANYTHING you’re trying to say? On his own, he’s got no hope at all. Zilch. But remember this. God is this guy’s creator. God loves him on a scale of magnitude way beyond anything you’re going to understand with your puny human pee-brain (don’t get offended–my brain’s even more microscopic than yours). He loves him so much that He sent His Son to be a loving sacrifice for his soul and life to be redeemed. As such, it is GOD that must take the initiative to get beyond this guy’s natural incomprehension of spiritual truth. He thus sends out His Holy Spirit to translate the message of hope to him in just the way that will make it through his thick skull and form the bridge for him to eternal life. You and I share the message the best we can–it’s the Holy Spirit’s job to take what sounds like “foolishness” to natural ears and reveal it for what it is–wisdom that comes from God Himself, which has the power to impart eternal life.

So after all my verbosity, we return to the original question–why does God choose to impart salvation in “spiritual,” when on our own we can only understand “natural”? To answer it, I’ll ask another question. Do you suppose it is even REMOTELY possible for me to have figured out the way to eternal life on my own? Of course not–the best I can manage is anti-knowledge, nonwisdom. So who gets the credit for unlocking the secret of eternity for me? God, and ONLY God. There’s NO way I can boast that I’m clever enough to have figured my way to heaven. None of us can. God alone gets the credit and the glory.

That’s humbling. It’s also exciting! It’s one thing for me to go out, on my own steam, and share the Gospel message with people. Let me just reach around and pat myself on the back. Ok….I’m bored now. It’s a whole other deal when I realize that over, under, through and beyond my pathetic efforts, the Holy Spirit is using my witness as a conduit for the life-transforming message that can save my friend’s soul. God’s own power working through me? Now that’s just plain fun!

So welcome, mates, to the dark recesses of the mind of the Mad Scottsman! Now, maybe you understand a bit more why I’ve chosen to call myself that in this blog, and a little bit more of how this twisted mind thinks–and how this redeemed heart beats, thanks only to my Lord. Daft I may be, but if I’m daft for Christ, tha’s a badge of honor ye’ll find me wearin’ proudly, laddie! Dare to be a fool for Christ, because through the “foolishness” of the message you bring on Christ’s behalf, you’ll see souls being changed for all eternity. If they think you’re nuts, don’t get discouraged! Just keep being a fool-bearer for Christ, sharing the Good News and praying that the Holy Spirit will be your translator to those souls that will be saved.

Now, laddie, get ou’ there! Nae more standin’ aboot! Fecht the guid fecht!